When Caregiving Ends: Supporting a Move to Senior Living
November 25, 2024

You had the conversations. You helped them downsize, reminiscing over old vacation photos, dusty camera collections, and stacks of past copies of âGood Housekeeping.â And you were there to help your parents start a joyful new chapter of their lives in a stylish and contemporary assisted living community. There theyâll spend the days chumming it up with a gaggle of new acquaintances, taking in the scenery, and attending exercise classes and social activities.
But a pang hits your heart. While youâre excited for their next adventure, you may be feeling some complicated emotions. Especially if youâve been there for them to help with some day-to-day activities such as meal preparation, laundry, lawn care, and light housekeeping. While it may have been challenging at times, you were proud of the care you provided and that you were able to step up when they needed you. But now what?
When caregiving ends, it might leave a big gapânot just in your schedule, but also in your heart. Itâs completely normal to feel many different emotions when you stop being a caregiver. You might feel sad because you miss regular contact with your loved one or the routine you had together. You could also feel relieved that you donât have to manage those responsibilities anymore, and thatâs okay too. Sometimes, you might even feel a bit lost or unsure about what to do with your newfound free time. All these feelings are normal. Here are some ways to deal with this emotional transition and make the most of this next phase of life.
Focus on the positive. This transition may be beneficial for both you and your loved ones. While we pride ourselves on our ability to provide for our loved ones, everyone has their limits. The care your loved ones receive in an assisted living community may help them maintain their health and independence, even if they are no longer living at home. Your loved one may thrive in a new setting with opportunities to enjoy regularly scheduled activities, salon services, and entertainment!
Consider using your caregiving skills in a different way. Itâs important to acknowledge all the skills you learned along the way as a family caregiver. You know how to make someone feel comfortable, manage their medications, and keep things organized. These are valuable skills and experience. Consider sharing what you learned. Here are two ways:
- Help others by volunteering at a local hospital, hospice, or care facility. Many organizations need volunteers who can offer comfort and help to others. There may even be opportunities to volunteer in activities or programs at the assisted living community your parents now call home. That doubles as a way to stay in touch with them and enrich their lives in a new way. Â
- Share your experience by joining a support group for caregivers where you can share what youâve learned with others. Your experience could be a big help to someone just starting on their caregiving journey. You were there once, and offering advice and empathy can be a rewarding way to give back to others. Â
âWe have a support group for families going through this transition at Fieldstone Silverdale,â Jeanette Campini, Community Relations Director at Fieldstone Silverdale said. âThe Family Caregiver Support Center has resources for caregivers, as well.â
Rediscover your hobbies. Caregiving can be a rewarding but time-consuming role. Now is the time to get back into the things you find to be creatively fulfilling. Whether itâs quilting, reading, or a weekly golf game, returning to the things you love is an act of self-care.
âI know a lot of family members who get back into traveling,â Campini said. âAnd we welcome family members to all of our events. We put our heart and soul into creating fun and memorable events, so thereâs always something you can do together.â
Ending your role as a caregiver doesnât mean you stop caring. All the love and skills youâve built can still be a big part of who you are as you start this new chapter. Remember, moving forward doesn’t mean being less engaged with your loved onesâit means growing from what you’ve experienced and finding new ways to share your kindness and skills with the world.
âThereâs a stigma around moving a loved one into memory care,â Campini said. âBut the level of care we provide really gives people the peace of mind of knowing that their loved one is in a safe and happy place. It lets the family members go back to the role they had before âcaregiver.â It lets them be family again.â