September 30, 2025
According to new research, the average time between the onset of symptoms and an official diagnosis of dementia is 3.5 years. That can mean a lot of doctor appointments, both in pursuit of a diagnosis and as your loved one’s condition progresses. When someone with cognitive decline goes to the doctor, they may not accurately describe their symptoms out of shame, fear of a diagnosis, or simply because they can’t recall their symptoms. Eventually, many people with dementia require someone else to take them to medical appointments so that family members and health care professionals have accurate communication.
You will need your loved one’s consent to accompany them to a doctor’s appointment. While it’s not necessary to have health care power of attorney to accompany someone to the doctor, it’s something you should seriously consider putting in place. As dementia progresses, the person affected loses their capacity to make legal decisions for themselves. It’s hard to know when exactly this happens, so it’s wise to make those legal preparations as early as possible after a diagnosis.
Here are some ways to make a trip to the doctor easier on people with dementia and their caregivers. Remember, dementia symptoms and behaviors can vary widely from person to person. You may choose to adjust these recommendations to better suit what you know about your loved one’s condition.
Before the appointment
First, schedule the appointment strategically during a time when your loved one may be most agreeable. Be prepared with a list of your questions and concerns, as well as a list of medications and supplements.
And if your loved one lives in a memory care community, be sure to communicate with staff.
Ashley Campoy, Community Relations Director at Fieldstone of Silverdale, points out that when it comes to people with dementia, it can be hard to plan for perfect timing.
“It’s a really day-to-day thing. They may be really tired after a meal, or slower to get going in the morning. Notifying your loved one’s memory care team about any appointments ahead of time is super important so we can all be prepared.”
Make sure that your loved one understands that you will be there to make sure they get the best possible medical care.
Contact the doctor’s office ahead of time. Inform the medical staff about your loved one’s dementia diagnosis and any specific needs they might have. Many offices can accommodate requests such as shorter wait times, quieter exam rooms, or allowing you to wait in the car until called. Discreet communication with staff ahead of time ensures all the people involved in your loved one’s care get accurate information without your loved one feeling embarrassed.
Campoy also advises that family caregivers carry a small pack of supplies.
“Make sure you have a pack of things ready to go with wipes, gloves, snacks, incontinence care,” she said. “It’s best to be prepared for the unexpected when you are out and about.”
During the appointment
Be prepared to offer details about changes in behavior, eating habits, or routines. Stay calm and positive. Your loved one will pick up on your emotions. Speak in a reassuring tone and maintain a calm demeanor, even if they become confused or agitated. Don’t hesitate to ask questions or request clarification about treatment recommendations. You know your loved one best and can provide valuable insights about what approaches work at home.
If necessary, use distraction techniques. Engage them in conversation about pleasant memories or interests while the doctor conducts the examination. This can reduce anxiety and make the process smoother.
Finally, ask the doctor about any resources that could assist your journey as a dementia caregiver. They may be aware of community supports, such as adult day programs or support groups, that could be helpful.
After the appointment
Summarize any new information or prescriptions and quickly schedule any follow-up appointments while the information is fresh in your mind. Share relevant information with other members of your loved one’s health care team, including specialists, pharmacists, or home health providers. Communicate with other family members about changes in your loved one’s condition or routine.
And keep in mind, taking your loved one to the doctor by yourself is not your only option, especially if they live in a long-term care community.
Fieldstone of Silverdale’s independent living and assisted living communities now have access to Seva Medical, a physician-owned practice that provides in-house medical care for long-term care communities throughout Washington. For memory care residents, Richard Hanson, PA, of Monarch Medical comes on Thursdays and Fridays. The combination of Seva Medical’s services and an in-house provider offers Fieldstone residents ample choices for on-campus health care.
Hanson specializes in mental health, dementia, medication adjustments, and psychiatry services. Fieldstone staff members appreciate his quick responses to questions and medication requests.
“You really want a specialist in dementia, not all health care providers are flexible to the needs of that population,” Campoy said.
Taking your loved one with dementia to medical appointments requires patience, preparation, and flexibility. While it can be challenging, maintaining regular health care is crucial for their wellbeing. With thoughtful planning and clear communication with health care providers, you can help ensure your loved one receives the care they need while preserving their dignity and minimizing stress for both of you.
