Tips for Taking Someone with Dementia to the Doctor
September 30, 2025
According to new research, the average time between the onset of symptoms and an official diagnosis of dementia is 3.5 years. That can mean a lot of doctor appointments, both in pursuit of a diagnosis and as your loved one’s condition progresses. When someone with cognitive decline goes to the doctor, they may not accurately describe their symptoms out of shame, fear of a diagnosis, or simply because they can’t recall their symptoms. Eventually, many people with dementia require someone else to take them to medical appointments so that family members and health care professionals have accurate communication.
You will need your loved one’s consent to accompany them to a doctor’s appointment. While it’s not necessary to have health care power of attorney to accompany someone to the doctor, it’s something you should seriously consider putting in place. As dementia progresses, the person affected loses their capacity to make legal decisions for themselves. It’s hard to know when exactly this happens, so it’s wise to make those legal preparations as early as possible after a diagnosis.
Here are some ways to make a trip to the doctor easier on people with dementia and their caregivers. Remember, dementia symptoms and behaviors can vary widely from person to person. You may choose to adjust these recommendations to better suit what you know about your loved one’s condition.
Before the appointment
First, schedule the appointment strategically during a time when your loved one may be most agreeable. Be prepared with a list of your questions and concerns, as well as a list of medications and supplements.
Make sure that your loved one understands that you will be there to make sure they get the best possible medical care.
If your loved one lives in a memory care community, be sure to coordinate with the staff there.
“Let us know in advance and stay in communication with the staff so we can have their chart notes and any other pertinent information about their health,” advised Maricel Halmo, Community Relations Director at Fieldstone of Marysville.
“The biggest thing is listening to what the nursing team is passing on,” she said. “If we are seeing an increase in behaviors, then pass that information on to the doctor because we are all on the same team.”
Contact the doctor’s office ahead of time. Inform the medical staff about your loved one’s dementia diagnosis and any specific needs they might have. Many offices can accommodate requests such as shorter wait times, quieter exam rooms, or allowing you to wait in the car until called. Discreet communication with staff ahead of time ensures all the people involved in your loved one’s care get accurate information without your loved one feeling embarrassed.
During the appointment
Be prepared to offer details about changes in behavior, eating habits, or routines. Stay calm and positive. Your loved one will pick up on your emotions. Speak in a reassuring tone and maintain a calm demeanor, even if they become confused or agitated. Don’t hesitate to ask questions or request clarification about treatment recommendations. You know your loved one best and can provide valuable insights about what approaches work at home.
If necessary, use distraction techniques. Engage them in conversation about pleasant memories or interests while the doctor conducts the examination. This can reduce anxiety and make the process smoother.
Finally, ask the doctor about any resources that could assist your journey as a dementia caregiver. They may be aware of community supports, such as adult day programs or support groups, that could be helpful.
After the appointment
Summarize any new information or prescriptions and quickly schedule any follow-up appointments while the information is fresh in your mind. Share relevant information with other members of your loved one’s health care team, including specialists, pharmacists, or home health providers. Communicate with other family members about changes in your loved one’s condition or routine.
Taking a loved one with dementia to the doctor can be challenging for family caregivers, but it’s certainly not the only option. Fieldstone of Marysville is proud to partner with Seva Medical, a physician-owned practice dedicated to serving patients living in assisted living and memory care communities throughout Washington. These care partnerships are developed for convenience and safety of our residents.
“The biggest benefit of that on-site care is that the residents don’t have to be transported,” Halmo said. “It can be stressful for residents to go on frequent outdoor trips. Every change of environment can be challenging, and it’s often difficult for family members to take time off work.”
Whether you take your loved one to a doctor or their care comes to them, maintaining regular health care is crucial for their well-being. With thoughtful planning and clear communication with health care providers, you can help ensure your loved one receives the care they need while preserving their dignity and minimizing stress for both of you.