When Caregiving Ends: Supporting a Move to Senior Living
November 25, 2024
You had the conversations. You helped them downsize, reminiscing over old vacation photos, dusty camera collections, and stacks of past copies of “Good Housekeeping.” And you were there to help your parents start a joyful new chapter of their lives in a stylish and contemporary assisted living community. There they’ll spend the days chumming it up with a gaggle of new acquaintances, taking in the scenery, and attending exercise classes and social activities.
“Some people have real negative connotations of what moving into senior facilities looks like,” Alex says. “But those concerns can be quickly put to rest by just seeing our community in person. It’s a new building. We know it’s not home, but we do everything we can to make it a welcoming environment for our residents, their family members, and staff.”
While you’re excited for their next adventure, you may be feeling some complicated emotions. Especially if you’ve been there for them to help with some day-to-day activities such as meal preparation, laundry, lawn care, and light housekeeping. While it may have been challenging at times, you were proud of the care you provided and that you were able to step up when they needed you. But now what?
When caregiving ends, it might leave a big gap—not just in your schedule, but also in your heart. It’s completely normal to feel many different emotions when you stop being a caregiver. You might feel sad because you miss regular contact with your loved one or the routine you had together. You could also feel relieved that you don’t have to manage those responsibilities anymore, and that’s okay too. Sometimes, you might even feel a bit lost or unsure about what to do with your newfound free time. All these feelings are normal. Here are some ways to deal with this emotional transition and make the most of this next phase of life.
Focus on the positive. This transition may be beneficial for both you and your loved ones. While we pride ourselves on our ability to provide for our loved ones, everyone has their limits. The care your loved ones receive in an assisted living community may help them maintain their health and independence, even if they are no longer living at home. Your loved one may thrive in a new setting with opportunities to enjoy regularly scheduled activities, salon services, and entertainment!
Consider using your caregiving skills in a different way. It’s important to acknowledge all the skills you learned along the way as a family caregiver. You know how to make someone feel comfortable, manage their medications, and keep things organized. These are valuable skills and experience. Consider sharing what you learned. Here are two ways:
- Help others by volunteering at a local hospital, hospice, or care facility. Many organizations need volunteers who can offer comfort and help to others. “We work closely with hospices, and that can be a great way for former caregivers to use their skills,” says Alex Sims, Marketing Director at Fieldstone at Keizer Ridge. Hospice volunteers can provide companionship, run errands for grieving families, or even complete administrative tasks such as making phone calls or sending emails.
“Meals on Wheels is another great way to stay active and give back to your community,” Alex says. There are options for both driving and non-driving volunteer opportunities.
- There may even be opportunities to volunteer in activities or programs at the assisted living community your parents now call home. That doubles as a way to stay in touch with them and enrich their lives in a new way. Alex says that one resident’s daughter regularly comes and plays the piano, an enjoyable experience for residents and staff alike.
- Share your experience by joining a support group for caregivers where you can share what you’ve learned with others. Your experience could be a big help to someone just starting on their caregiving journey. You were there once, and offering advice and empathy can be a rewarding way to give back to others.
“Our executive director runs a dementia support group. Dementia can be jarring for family members, and we know that if you’ve been through that, your experience could provide invaluable comfort for someone who is new to it.”
Rediscover your hobbies. Caregiving can be a rewarding but time-consuming role. Now is the time to get back into the things you find to be creatively fulfilling. Whether it’s quilting, reading, or a weekly golf game, returning to the things you love is an act of self-care.
Ending your role as a caregiver doesn’t mean you stop caring. All the love and skills you’ve built can still be a big part of who you are as you start this new chapter. And while family caregivers adjust to a different pace of life, there are people at Fieldstone of Keizer Ridge who are eager to help their new neighbors discover all that this new home has to offer them.
“Our ambassador program helps residents get started in their new home,” Alex says. “It’s a group of ladies who introduce themselves, give out a gift basket, and help everybody make friends. They take new residents out to a couple meals and activities, do some interest matchmaking, and help them feel at home.”
And as for family members, Alex says they are excited to help you embrace your new role. The best thing she says is, “Now we are the caregivers and you get to be family.”
Remember, moving forward doesn’t mean being less engaged with your loved ones—it means growing from what you’ve experienced and finding new ways to share your kindness and skills with the world.