Talking to Your Parents About Senior Living
December 19, 2025
Our parents spend the first decades of our lives making sure we have everything we need to be happy, healthy, and successful. It can feel like quite the role reversal when, as an adult, you begin to worry if your parents are thriving in older age.
We know that most people want to stay in their homes as long as possible. But many factors can get in the way of that goal. Perhaps a two-story home that was purchased for a young family no longer suits the needs of older adults with aching joints or other mobility challenges. Maybe going to the basement to do laundry is more of a struggle than it used to be. Shoot, maybe your parents don’t really want to do the laundry at all!
Despite these challenges, some older adults are hesitant to even consider moving to a senior living community. Your older loved one may have a very antiquated view of what senior living can be.
“There are so many people who are resistant because they are imagining the old ways of the nursing homes, that’s probably the biggest roadblock,” said Alex Sims, Community Relations Director at Fieldstone Village at Keizer Ridge. “There’s also a lot of people who don’t realize how much it costs to bring care into the home.”
Today’s modern communities often feature attractive amenities including restaurant-quality dining, exciting group activities, movie theaters, and even cocktail lounges! And more importantly, they offer an easy path to social connection for older adults who may be increasingly isolated.
“Looking past your loved one’s physical needs, so many people underestimate the social benefits of community living,” Sims said, “but it’s an incredibly important aspect.”
Starting a conversation with your parents about senior living works best when it’s approached with empathy, patience, and respect for their independence. Here’s a framework you can use to make it less stressful and more productive:
Choose the right moment. Pick a time when you and your parents are relaxed and not in the middle of a stressful situation. Rushed or high-emotion moments—such as after a fall or a health scare—can make the discussion feel like a reaction rather than a thoughtful plan.
Start with curiosity, not conclusions. Instead of jumping straight to “You should move to assisted living,” begin with open-ended questions:
“How are you feeling about living here on your own?”
“What parts of your day are becoming harder to manage?”
“What would you like more help with?”
This signals that you’re there to listen, not dictate.
Share observations, not accusations. If you’ve noticed challenges, state them gently and factually:
“I’ve seen that it’s been harder for you to get up the stairs lately.”
“I’m worried about you cooking when you’re feeling tired.”
Keep the tone about concern and safety, not judgment.
Explore their priorities and fears. Ask what matters most to them—staying close to friends, having privacy, feeling safe at night. Also ask what they worry about when they think of assisted living. This helps you address misconceptions and match options to their needs.
Bring siblings or other family members in thoughtfully. Before talking with your parents as a group, get on the same page with your siblings. Agree on goals, avoid ganging up, and decide who will take the lead in the conversation.
Frame assisted living as adding freedom, not taking it away. Point out that having help with daily chores or health needs can free them up to focus on hobbies, friends, and activities they enjoy. Share real-life examples or stories from communities you’ve researched.
Take it in steps. This is rarely a one-and-done conversation. Be prepared to revisit the topic, tour a few communities together, and let them process at their own pace.
Sims mentioned that on paper, a lot of the senior living providers in Keizer offer similar services and amenities, so it’s important to see those communities for yourself.
“Our community features joyful and vibrant living, so many places can be dark and gloomy. One thing that impresses people is seeing it with their own eyes. People coming on tour see our residents living their best lives. Some of our residents decided to throw a season-changing party all on their own.”
“We provide a lot of the same services and amenities, so you really take a tour to see those things happening in real life.”
Many family caregivers will tell you that they waited far too long to start this conversation. Rather than wait until an accident or emergency forces your hand, talk to your parents about how the supportive environment offered by senior living can help them stay healthy and as independent as possible. And when they need it in the future, more help is easily available.
Having these conversations with your parents isn’t always easy, but they can be the first step toward ensuring comfort, safety, and peace of mind for everyone. The right community can make all the difference—not just in providing a safe and engaging environment, but in surrounding your loved ones with people who genuinely care.
“You can see it with your own eyes and speak with the residents,” Sims explained. “I think those interactions with family members and residents are the most important conversations. Those honest, genuine conversations hold so much weight.”
At Fieldstone Village at Keizer Ridge, we combine beautiful, welcoming spaces with a team whose warmth and dedication help residents feel truly at home.